A Holiday Tool for Patience
How to learn to appreciate everyone in hard moments
The holidays are upon us, and while in theory they are here to bring joy and connection, let’s be real, they can also bring moments that test our patience.
Being out of routine, surrounded by family, old friends, and even unexpected situations can stir up emotions we didn’t see coming.
I wanted to share a tool that’s been a game-changer for me. I use this all the time but with the holidays approaching this felt like the perfect moment to share it.
It’s simple, but it works wonders.
When you feel like someone is annoying you or (fill in the blank emotion), stop yourself and find three things you LOVE about them.
I know it might sound easier said than done, but hear me out.
Let me share a story to show you how powerful this can be.
This week when I was flying to Mexico, completely immersed in a book I’ve been reading that requires my full brain power because history…. and history is not something that flows super easy in my mind.
Then, the kid sitting next to me started talking. And kept talking. And talking. I couldn’t focus, and frustration started bubbling up.
I could’ve stayed annoyed at the situation and said something like “of course when I try and read something distracts me” or “gosh this kid is so annoying and won’t shut up.”
But instead, I used this tool. I paused, took a deep breath, and found three things I genuinely loved about him:
The whole flight, he chose to talk to his dad—not read, watch TV, or scroll on a screen. That kind of presence is rare, and it was beautiful to see. And he wanted to just talk to his dad, you never see that from an ~11 year old.
He was confident in himself. But when he was “wrong” and his dad corrected him about something, he didn’t get defensive or embarrassed. Instead, he got curious and asked questions, wanting to learn more.
He was so sincere. Everything he said came from such an honest and unfiltered place. His authenticity was refreshing.
By the time I finished that mental list, my frustration had completely disappeared. I wasn’t annoyed anymore, I was in awe of this little human. And kinda wanted to hug him. I found myself smiling while reading my book with each moment that took my attention away and was listening in.
To be clear, this tool isn’t about forcing yourself to ignore your feelings. It’s about shifting your focus and choosing to see the good for the sake of the time in that moment.
While it’s important to go back and look at the root of the trigger (looking at how I felt he/situation was being towards me), because understanding why something bothers us is key to growth. The trigger and emotion that came up is showing us how we are doing that exact thing to ourselves so we can shift it. Because if you don’t, I promise that emotion will not go away and just show up in a more dramatic way later.
….But there are moments when the best thing we can do is be fully present and enjoy the moment wholeheartedly. And this tool helps you do exactly that.
I use this often with the founders I work with, especially when they’re navigating relationships with all kinds of people that work for them. It’s a reminder that we can learn something from everyone. Every single person has a certain genius within them. Nobody is inherently better or worse than anyone else, and this tool helps you genuinely find and appreciate that unique brilliance in others.
It’s a simple shift, but one that can transform how you see the world, and how you connect with the people in it.
The holidays are the perfect time to practice this. When someone pushes your buttons, pause. Take a breath. Look for the qualities in them that make them unique, lovable, or even admirable.
You might find that the very things that irritate you at first glance are tied to something beautiful beneath the surface.
This season is about connection, growth, and love. And sometimes, love looks like choosing to see someone in their best light, even when it’s not easy.
We’re getting to an age where time feels more precious, where the moments we have with loved ones are fewer and far between. It’s a reminder to cherish the time we do have, not spend it sitting in irritation or letting small annoyances steal the joy of being present.
I love you all and wishing you a beautiful holiday season!
with Love & Gratitude,
Stephanie
