How to Understand the Difference Between your Vision, your Strategy, and your Daily Actions.
You’re Not Here to Check Boxes, You’re Here to Become Someone
We throw these words around like they’re interchangeable: goals, dreams, to-do list, but they’re not the same thing. And when we treat them like they are, that’s when we start to feel overwhelmed, uninspired, or like we’re always doing but never really moving.
Dreams are the vision.
They’re the “what if” scenarios. The big-picture desires. The future you feel pulled toward.
Help a million people. Write a book that changes lives. Create generational wealth. Speak on global stages. Build something that outlives you. Transform an industry. Raise the next Einstein. Heal sickness and disease. Start a family.
Dreams are going to be personal. Maybe your dream is to finally see the world, to travel out of the country and experience life beyond what you’ve always known.
Maybe you’ve spent your whole life putting yourself last, and now the dream is to learn how to put yourself first.
It doesn’t have to be flashy or public. It just has to be yours.
You’re not supposed to know the how. You just know it’s possible. You can feel it. It’s yours, even if it hasn’t shown up yet. Even if it’s far away. Even if it feels hard to do.
Dreams don’t have to be realistic. They’re often not fully formed. But they carry the emotional charge. They feel heart-led. Expansive. Alive.
Dreams are what light you up. They’re not just about external success, they’re about how you want to feel in your life or business. Freedom. Impact. Creativity. Time. Fulfillment.
You don’t measure dreams. You expand into them.
Goals are the structure.
They give your dreams shape. Goals are measurable, time-bound, and specific. They’re the milestones that turn the dream into something you can actually move toward.
Launch a program. Grow your revenue by 50%. Get 10,000 people on your email list.
Goals create focus. They take the dream and ask, “Okay, how do we make this real?”
But goals still require alignment. If your goals don’t connect back to the dream, they’ll feel empty. Like work for the sake of work. You’ll check the box and still feel off.
Because a goal without meaning quickly turns into pressure. It becomes a deadline you dread instead of a direction you're excited to walk toward.
And how you set the goal matters just as much as what it is.
If it’s too big, it overwhelms you. If it’s too small, you hit it and feel nothing. If it’s based on someone else’s definition of success, you might accomplish it but still feel unfulfilled.
A powerful goal lives at the intersection of challenge and belief. It stretches you but it also feels possible. It pulls you forward but doesn’t disconnect you from the present moment.
And the best goals leave space for something even bigger. They give you a direction, not a tunnel. They allow room for surprise, expansion, creativity, and growth beyond what you could predict.
You don’t hit a goal just by effort, you hit it by alignment, consistency, and trust in the unknown. So don’t just set a goal to prove something. Set it to become someone.
To-Do Lists are the action.
They’re the daily tasks. The micro-movements.
Write the post. Make the call. Send the email. Update the website. Have the hard conversation.
These are what keep things moving. But they are not the dream. And they are not the goal. They are the steps that support the goal, which brings the dream to life.
But if you don’t zoom out regularly, your to-do list will start to run you. You’ll stay busy, but not fulfilled. Productive, but directionless.
You start living in reaction mode…responding, crossing off, jumping from task to task without stopping to ask if it’s actually moving the needle.
You confuse activity with progress. You confuse exhaustion with accomplishment. You confuse getting things done with doing what matters.
The to-do list is supposed to support your vision not replace it. But when you tie your worth to how much you got done in a day, you start shrinking your self-trust down to a checklist.
That’s when burnout creeps in. That’s when the fire goes out. That’s when the “why” gets lost in the “what.”
So yes, you need a list. But don’t let it define you. Let it guide you with intention.
Start asking yourself:
Is this task in service to my goal?
Is this task connected to my dream?
Or is this just something I’m doing to feel temporarily accomplished?
Because a powerful to-do list doesn’t just keep you busy. It keeps you aligned.
The dream is the identity shift, while the goals and to-do list are the vehicles that help bring it into reality.
Dreams alone are easy to lose sight of especially when life gets noisy. Without structure underneath them, it’s easy to fall off the wagon. Not because you’re lazy, but because the dream isn’t anchored into anything actionable.
That’s where goals and the to-do list come in. Goals take the dream and say, “Let’s give this shape.” To-dos take the goal and say, “Let’s make a move today.”
Dream = become the healthiest version of myself
Goal = work out 4x a week, cut out processed food, improve sleep
To-do = book a Pilates class, grocery shop, turn your phone off an hour before bed
The dream is the north star. The goal is the milestone. The to-do is the step. All three are needed.
But if you skip the dream and just chase tasks, you’ll burn out. If you only dream without structure, you’ll spin in circles.
When you don’t know which one you’re acting from, that’s when burnout creeps in. That’s when things stop feeling exciting and start feeling like pressure. That’s when you confuse progress with motion. The key is holding all three while remembering the dream leads.
The Nuance of Goals
Goals sound straightforward. They’re the structure, the plan, the benchmarks that make the dream feel real. But goals carry weight. Emotional weight. Identity weight. Expectation weight.
They aren’t just numbers on a page. They’re loaded with meaning. And depending on how you set them, they can either fuel momentum or totally shut you down.
Set a goal too big, and it becomes a mountain. You stare at it. You freeze. You feel behind before you even begin. It becomes less about the dream and more about the pressure. You start chasing it out of panic, out of proving, out of fear you’ll never be good enough if you don’t hit it.
Set a goal too small, and it might not light you up. It might not stretch you or activate that part of you that’s meant to grow. You hit it, but you still feel kind of flat, like that’s it? You’re checking boxes, but not expanding.
Goals can get tricky because they live in the in-between. Between vision and execution. Between desire and proof. And if we’re not intentional, we start setting them from the wrong place. From comparison. From pressure. From ego. From what we think we should want.
We look at what others are doing like how fast they’re growing, what they’re achieving, how polished it looks online and start building goals that aren’t actually ours. Goals that sound good but don’t feel good. Goals that look impressive but aren’t connected to our truth. And then we wonder why we hit them and still feel empty. Or why we can’t stay consistent with them. Or why they make us feel behind before we even start.
This is the trap of comparison, it disconnects us from our own path and puts us in a race we were never meant to run.
This is why, in sales, we always made sure we had a plan. We forecasted, looked at the pipeline, identified next steps. You don’t just say, “I want to hit a number.” You back into it. You map it out. You get clear on what’s needed so you’re not just hoping, you’re building. The goal starts to feel real because you can actually see how it could happen.
But where I think most people fall short, myself included, was that we didn’t leave enough room for possibility. We got stuck in the logic of how it had to happen. We hyperfocus on the known paths, the cold outreach, inbound leads, warm intros and if those weren’t converting fast enough, the pressure would build. The energy would tighten. We'd start to panic or push instead of staying open.
And here’s what I’ve learned: You need a path but you also need possibility.
Yes, build your strategy. Yes, know your numbers. But then you have to loosen your grip and remember that it could come in a million other ways. The right person could find your work. Someone could refer you without you even knowing. A client could leave their company and bring you into their next one. You can’t plan for those but they happen all the time.
When you hold your goals with both hands, structure in one, surrender in the other, you give yourself room to breathe. You stop clinging to one outcome or one timeline. You move through your days with more ease and trust. You stay in motion without being in panic.
And ironically that’s usually when the magic happens. Because it’s not about forcing the goal. It’s about staying available to the ways it can unfold.
So don’t just set goals for the sake of it. Set them with intention. Set them with heart. Set them from a place of curiosity, not control. Expansion, not desperation.
Ask yourself: What is my intention with this goal?
Yes, it might be to hit a number for your board, your boss, or your paycheck. That’s valid. But what else can this goal hold for you?
How is it helping you grow?
How is it challenging your voice, your leadership, your self-trust?
How is it teaching you to stay steady even when it feels slow?
How is it helping you build the kind of foundation that actually lasts?
This is how you continue to evolve instead of getting stuck in the day-to-day. This is how you keep walking the path not just checking the boxes.
Because without that reflection, we get stuck in insanity. Doing the same thing over and over, expecting different results. Setting the same goals, repeating the same actions, and wondering why nothing shifts.
You say you want to hit $10 million this year in your business but are you iterating? Are you asking:
What worked?
What didn’t?
Where can I improve?
What’s one small change I can make today?
That’s how you move from performance to progress. From proving to becoming. You don’t just hit goals by grinding harder. You get there by refining how you show up to them over and over again.
The Fine Line Between Consistency and Insanity
We’ve all heard the definition of insanity: Doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different result.
We have to keep ourselves on the path. Not just the path of what needs to get done, but the path of why we’re doing it in the first place. The path of purpose. The path of becoming. The version of us that the dream is asking for.
It’s easy to get caught in the noise. To get caught up in the pressure. In the fast pace.
The endless tasks and deadlines that pile up and slowly pull us away from the deeper vision.
But if we don’t stop and check in, we forget what we’re even building. We forget who we’re doing it for. We forget that we’re not just trying to finish things, we’re trying to become someone. We are trying to fulfill a dream.
You’re building a company to transform an industry, yet you’re so caught up in the everyday tasks, in putting out fires, in chasing metrics, that you lose sight of the vision. You start optimizing for what the board wants, what looks good on paper, what buys you more time while forgetting what you wanted in the first place.
You stop seeing how the day-to-day, even the frustrating, uncomfortable parts, is actually shaping you into the leader who can hold the dream. Shaping your company into the dream you set out to create from the start. Even the “negative” moments are part of it. They’re building resilience. Sharpening your voice. Forcing you to make decisions that stretch you. It’s all part of the path if you’re willing to zoom out and see it that way.
I drew this image for a client and it feels relevant here:
You Now → Desired State
We think the path from where we are to where we want to go is a straight line. Set the goal. Make the moves. Get the outcome.
But in reality…growth looks more like this: A zig-zag. A loop. A stumble. A breakthrough. A setback. A reset. Another step forward.
Every horizontal line on this page is a moment. A milestone. Some you’ll celebrate like new clients, breakthroughs, clarity. Some will challenge you like a failed launch, a betrayal, a blindspot revealed.
But all of them are essential. The squiggles aren’t mistakes. They’re proof you’re in motion. Because as long as you’re learning, iterating, and adjusting along the way…You’re still on the path.
The goal is not to avoid the highs or lows, it’s to stay neutral through them. To not let the wins inflate your ego or the losses define your worth.
Because when you zoom out, you realize the line was never straight. But it was always leading you exactly where you were meant to go.
It’s in the lows that we learn, grow, and break through. The highs feel good, but we tend to coast there, we avoid rocking the boat, and that comfort can make us complacent. The lows stretch us. They push us to take risks, make bold moves, rethink everything, and iterate. They’re where the real transformation happens.
So don’t resist them. Use them. Realize you are missing the positives in the negatives and the negatives in the positives. It is always both, it is your job to consciously become aware of them every step of the way.
We need to reevaluate more often. Even when something feels small or frustrating or tedious it’s still part of the path.
It might be refining your voice.
It might be teaching you resilience.
It might be helping you let go of perfectionism.
It might be helping you say what you really want to say.
It might be showing you how to trust yourself more in the process.
But you’ll only see that if you zoom out.
Because the goal isn’t to just finish the week with a bunch of boxes checked. The goal is to finish the week a little closer to the version of you who can hold the dream.
So stay on the path. Even when it’s boring. Even when it’s messy. Even when it’s slower than you’d like.
This is why companies have visions. They know people need to feel part of something bigger. They want every employee to know how their role contributes to the whole because that’s what keeps people motivated and connected.
And we need that for ourselves, too.
We need to feel connected to a bigger picture. That’s how we stay motivated in life. That’s how we keep growing, expanding, evolving. That’s how we stop living just for the time we’re not at work.
Because we weren’t made to just push through the week and “live” on the weekends.
We were made to feel meaning in the process. To feel like we’re building something that matters. To know that our days are part of something greater even if we’re still in the middle of it.
The work isn’t just the doing, it’s the remembering. Remembering who you are. What you want. And why it’s worth it.
When Productivity Becomes a Performance
And part of the reason we get so caught up in the to-do list is because our brain is wired to love it. Every time we check something off, we get a hit of dopamine that little rush of accomplishment that says, “You did something.”
But over time, we’ve become addicted to that quick reward. Social media is the perfect example, it’s the queen of dopamine. We’ve trained ourselves to chase the feeling of finishing, even if what we’re finishing isn’t meaningful.
That’s where instant gratification sneaks in. We start prioritizing what feels good right now, what’s easy, what’s fast, what avoids failure. We try to control outcomes, overthink the process, and prove our worth through output. Not because it’s aligned but because we want to feel enough in the moment.
There was a study done that I find so fascinating:
One group of kids was told they were smart. Another group was told they were good problem solvers.
The kids who were told they were smart started avoiding challenges. They didn’t want to risk being wrong, because if being “smart” was who they were, failure threatened their identity. They became more cautious, avoided effort, and stuck to what they already knew they could do.
The kids who were praised for being problem solvers, well they took on harder tasks. They were more curious, more resilient, and more likely to try again after a setback because their praise wasn’t tied to being perfect. It was tied to their effort, their creativity, and their ability to grow.
This is the same trap many of us fall into as adults. That’s what so many of us are doing now with our productivity. We’re chasing gold stars. We’re trying to prove we’re capable, valuable, worthy by doing more. But deep down, it’s not about the task, it’s about who we think we need to be in order to feel good about ourselves.
But if we zoomed out, we’d see it differently. Every action, every task, every choice should be serving the bigger goal, not just filling the day.
Resting when your body needs it gives you more capacity to show up with energy and creativity. Slowing down to reflect on your direction keeps you from sprinting in the wrong one.
But we usually judge these things. We label rest as “lazy.” We see reflection as something we’ll “get to later.” We tell ourselves we don’t have time when in reality, we can’t afford not to.
The truth is, we’re not seeing the ROI of rest. We’re not seeing the value of slowing down to check the map before we keep driving. Because we’ve been conditioned to believe that productivity only counts if we’re doing.
But let me ask you this: What wastes more time?
Taking an entire year to chase a goal blindly, only to stop and evaluate when it’s too late?
Or taking 30 minutes every month or even every quarter to zoom out, reflect, and adjust?
What’s more efficient?
Measuring progress after the damage is done?
Or noticing what’s not working early enough to actually do something about it?
This is the difference between reacting and leading. Between surviving the year or evolving through it.
Rest and reflection aren’t soft skills. They’re strategic tools. And if you’re not using them, you’re not leading, you’re guessing.
But instead, we judge the day by how many things we crossed off. But instead, we label the day “good” or “bad” based on whether we got enough done. We call it “productive” if it was full, and “wasted” if it wasn’t. We’ve created a system where success = output. And anything else is not enough.
We forget to ask if it actually mattered. We forget to measure alignment. We forget to celebrate the invisible wins like the emotional growth, the hard conversations, the decision to take care of yourself instead of spiraling into burnout.
Because real accomplishment isn’t about doing more. It’s about doing what moves you closer to what you actually want. What’s aligned. What’s meaningful. What reflects who you’re becoming. Otherwise, we’re just busy proving we’re worthy of rest we’re too afraid to give ourselves.
When Doing More Stops Working
And that’s where burnout starts to creep in not just from what we do, but from how we relate to what we do.
We’re living in this constant hum of “I didn’t do enough,” even on days we gave everything we had. And because we’ve merged our to-do list with our identity and self-worth, we don’t even feel good when we do get it all done. The list resets, the pressure returns, and we’re right back where we started thinking success means hustle, and rest means failure.
It’s not just overwhelming, it’s disorienting.
You stop feeling proud of yourself. You stop celebrating the little wins because they never feel like enough. And you start judging your life and yourself based on how much you got done that day. The human in you gets erased. The only thing that feels valuable is output.
But output isn’t the full picture. Your energy matters. Your alignment matters. The way you feel while doing it matters.
Some of the most important days aren’t the ones where you crushed your to-do lis, they’re the ones where you made a new decision. Broke a pattern. Said no to something that used to drain you. Gave yourself rest without guilt. Got honest with yourself about what you really want.
But those don’t always show up on paper. So we miss them. And we keep measuring the wrong things. It’s not that ambition is the problem. It’s that we forgot the goal was to build a life that feels good, not just look good from the outside.
With love & gratitude,
Stephanie
Own it × Shift it × Become it.