Why We Stay in Comfortable Dysfunction
Your mind will hold you back if you let it.
There’s an old story about a man who walks past a house and sees a dog lying on the porch, whining in pain.
Concerned, he asks the owner, “What’s wrong with your dog?”
The owner shrugs, “Oh, he’s lying on a nail.”
The man, confused, asks, “Why doesn’t he move?”
The owner replies, “Because it doesn’t hurt enough yet.”
And that is the mindset keeping so many people stuck.
I like to call it: Comfortable Dysfunction which is just referring to pain that is not “bad enough” to change.
Most people are lying on their own nails. They’re in relationships that drain them, jobs they hate, patterns that sabotage them—but because it’s not painful enough, they stay.
• The relationship isn’t great, but at least they’re not alone.
• The job is unfulfilling, but at least it pays the bills.
• They’re exhausted, unhappy, and disconnected, but at least nothing is “really” wrong.
• Their stomach hurts every morning before work, but it’s probably just stress.
• Their energy is drained before the day even starts, but that’s just how life is, right?
• They dread Mondays, count down to weekends, and numb out at night, but everyone does that… don’t they?
They convince themselves it’s fine. Because fine is easier than change.
But fine is just another word for settling.
If you wake up every day with that pit in your stomach, that quiet resistance, that exhaustion you can’t explain… it’s not just stress.
It’s your body telling you the truth your mind is trying to ignore.
And if you don’t listen now, you’ll be forced to listen later.
It’s the “if it ain’t broke, don’t fix it” mentality….except it is broken. They’re just used to it.
This is why people don’t change until they hit rock bottom. Because as long as the discomfort is bearable, they convince themselves it’s fine.
It’s comfortable dysfunction.
What you tolerate, you accept.
The dog could get up. He could move. The pain is there, but it’s not unbearable—so he stays.
And that’s what so many people do in life. They tolerate the pain because they can.
• They tolerate stress until it turns into burnout.
• They tolerate small betrayals until the relationship is in ruins.
• They tolerate dissatisfaction until they wake up one day and wonder where their life went.
We get so used to things being “fine” that we stop questioning if they could be better.
But “fine” is the seed of regret.
People who worked in hospice interviewed people on their deathbeds and the top five regrets were:
I wish I had lived true to myself, not what others expected of me.
I wish I hadn’t worked so much.
I wish I had expressed my feelings.
I wish I had stayed in touch with friends.
I wish I had let myself be happier.
And to me that just means they tolerated, justified, and postponed the life they really wanted.
They tolerated staying small.
They tolerated working their lives away.
They tolerated suppressing their emotions, settling for fine, waiting for later.
Until later never came.
If you wait until the pain is unbearable, you’ve already waited too long.
What’s Your Nail?
And more importantly…
Are you finally ready to get up?
Everyone has a nail, that thing they complain about but don’t change.
If you had to live the next 10 years exactly as you are today…
Would that be enough?
If not, it’s time to stop whining about the nail and start getting up.
We get so used to things being “fine” that we stop questioning if they could be better.
Going forward, this part of the email with all the TOOLS will be just for the paid subscription, expect meditations that will help you reprogram to be included as well!
But why do we do this? Why do we tolerate things that don’t make us happy?
5 Reasons Why with Tools to Overcome them…
1. The Brain’s Comfort Zone
Your brain isn’t wired for fulfillment, it’s wired for familiarity. The basal ganglia, the part of your brain responsible for habits, the part that runs on autopilot. And it thrives on predictability. That’s why even when something is draining, frustrating, or unfulfilling, it still feels easier to stay than to change.
That toxic job? At least you know how to navigate it.
That relationship you’ve outgrown? At least it’s familiar.
That routine keeping you stagnant? At least it’s predictable.
Your brain doesn’t care if something is making you miserable, it only cares that it’s efficient. Change requires energy, and your brain would rather conserve it than break the cycle.
🔹 INTERRUPT THE PATTERN
Every time you repeat an action, your brain strengthens the neural connections associated with that behavior. Think of it like carving a path in the snow. The more you walk it, the deeper the groove becomes.